Wee Ones Magazine
2002-2007 Edited Content

Please don't anybody tell my kids you can actually cook at a campsite...
By Kathy Dobson

Parents have to have a sense of humor.
Otherwise life would be too hard!
;
There's something about having survived almost a week of camping in a tent with my four kids that makes me feel like now I deserve a vacation.

A REAL vacation. It took a lot of time and energy to keep all of those bugs off of my sleeping bag all night, and the constant yelling at the  kids to be careful that they didn't poke somebody's eye out with one of  their marshmallow roasting sticks was also a lot of hard work.

To make matters even worse, my sister Barbara, who drives down with her
husband and their three kids every summer to go camping with us in their
fully equipped, air conditioned camper, had a serious break down with the camper just before it was time to come. But instead of trying to do the impossible, which would have meant rearranging everybody's vacation time from work, Barbara did something I had thought even more impossible. She bought a large tent for her family to join us on our camp site.

Now let me explain something about my sister Barbara. She not only despises all bugs even worse than I do, she's the type of female who wears her pearls just to go shopping at Wal-Mart. So the thought of her sleeping on the ground in a tent seemed almost impossible to me.

There was also the whole issue of how we were suppose to cook anything without her trailer's microwave oven and electric grill. Barbara instantly came up with the perfect solution. "We'll eat out," she said, "you know, at a restaurant!"

When I asked her if that wasn't, well, kind of cheating, she rolled her eyes then asked me if it would matter to my kids. So to be fair, after all, I do this whole camping sacrifice thing for them, I asked the kids what they'd prefer. The choice was entirely up to them: Would they rather eat some cold beans out of a tin can (with a blob of mystery fat hidden in the bottom like a secret gift) OR, go to McDonald's?

Heck, we even went to the McDonald's with a playroom in the back of the restaurant, and after one look at the slides, ladders, and huge box of small balls, I was ready to pitch my tent right in the parking lot. The next morning we decided to go home for a shower before going out for breakfast. After all, we couldn't be seen in public looking like we were, well, camping.

Okay, I admit it, if you add up the amount of time my sister and I were away from the campsite eating in restaurants, or just shopping, it might be more accurate to say we occasionally visited our tents. But the best part of the whole camping trip, at least for me and my sister Barbara, was the night we snuck away from the site, leaving kids and husbands behind, and came back to my place for the whole night.

We spent hours and hours just talking and laughing about nothing, the way only sisters can. We weren't sure whether to be annoyed or happy when we discovered the next morning that nobody had even noticed we were missing. Our husbands thought we were in the bathroom all night.

Which reminds me, we had to have a campsite with a public bathroom, of course, because....

Kathy Dobson is a mother of four children and freelances full-time from her home. In addition to her weekly newspaper column, she's also written for some of Canada's largest circulation newspapers, and  numerous magazines, including Chatelaine and Today's Parent. She's also a news stringer for the CBC.

"The Joy Of Rituals"

How To Strengthen Family Ties
Written by Dawn Marie Barhyte

Reading stories before bedtime, pizza and a movie Friday nights and Sunday dinner, these simple routines are both warm and enjoyable by themselves but research also emphasizes their importance in child development. You may not think these experiences qualify as a family ritual-but they do, because it's something that parents and children look forward to doing together. A ritual is any repeated, shared activity that has meaning and is rewarding for family members.       
Do you have family rituals? What are they?

Reading stories before bedtime, pizza and a movie Friday nights and Sunday dinner, these simple routines are both warm and enjoyable by themselves but research also emphasizes their importance in child development. You may not think these experiences qualify as a family ritual-but they do, because it's something that parents and children look forward to doing together. A ritual is any repeated, shared activity that has meaning and is rewarding for family members. 

According to Meg Cox, expert on rituals and author of "The Heart Of A Family
Searching America for Traditions that Fulfill Us" believes that ritual is anything, big or small, that families perform together deliberately, providing there is repetition or some dramatic flourish that elevates the activity above the ordinary grind. She adds, "rituals are like a magical power, the more we understand them the more their power will enrich our lives."

Rituals add meaning, texture and richness to our existence. They celebrate commonality, connection and belonging. One of the ways a family becomes solid is by cultivating rituals.  They also help children learn what to expect from their environment and how to understand the world around them. Studies have shown that the kids who are best equipped to face the challenges of life and stay centered are those who feel close to their families, and that closeness comes from the routine reassurances and shared experiences found in everyday rituals.  Rituals are integral family resources that can act as a coping mechanism during times of challenge and can enhance family's well being while strengthening family ties. 

Psychologists tell us that rituals help us keep track of where we came from and essentially who we are. This is key for all family members but profoundly significant for children who are forming their identities. They offer a comforting sense of predictability and order to life. When children have a clear sense of where they come from, they have a better sense of where they are going.  Knowing what to do and being able to predict what comes next helps a child feel competent- and feeling competent is key to emotional well-being. Daily rituals give us a sense of the rhythm of our lives, help us make transitions more readily and express who we are as family.
  
Children can come to view, even the mundane, as sacred moments of connection. They will delight in rituals, look forward to them, learn from them and feel comforted and grounded by their constancy. Positive family rituals leave indelible imprints on children's minds and will form treasured memories that will likely be passed on from generation to generation. Knowing that come every fall a family goes pumpkin and apple picking makes the season something to look forward to and savor. 

The challenge, of course, lies in making the decision to create this time and saying no to intrusions. With the myriad of demands on our time today it will require some effort but the payoff will be well worth it.  And once you have good family rituals in place, keeping them alive takes work, do everything you can to keep it going. If it's centered on a specific day, like Sunday dinner, and you're not able to do it one week, don't let it slip away. Squeeze it in where you can. With some attentiveness, your family rituals will survive the demands of life and may endure for generations to come. And know that no matter what life brings rituals can act as a safety net for your family members. Establishing your own distinctive rituals now and faithfully repeating them will offer a much-needed shelter in these unsettling times. Rituals are keepsakes that live in our hearts. What family keepsakes are you creating for your children? 

If you are inspired but feel at a loss at the thought of starting your own family's rituals here are some ideas to use as a springboard for action.

• If you're like many families today you can't swing family dinners seven nights a week, try then for breakfast together or snacks in the evening. These relaxed moments of sharing food and conversation provide a much-needed platform for sharing and reconnecting before racing to the next pursuit
• Recognition night. A fun way to celebrate your child's achievements in the classroom or extracurriculars is to serve an "honoree dinner" on a special plate reserved for that occasion with all the comfort foods they have come to crave
• "Family night" designate one night week as sacred solely for family members to connect, interact and communicate while having wholesome fun. One 
• Week you could play board games, another rent a movie with popcorn and candy or a cooking night where family members plan the meal and help cook it as a team
• Hold an "unbirthday" where you surprise your child by unexpectedly deciding to celebrate with their favorite meal and a cake along with small tokens of affection
• "Give a helping hand day" to help children cultivate altruism and to think of others less fortunate try as a family to do some community service like volunteer at a nursing home, or in a soup kitchen or collect food for local food pantry.

   

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

There is no time like the present to teach children that money doesn't grow on trees. With commitment parents can make a real difference in preparing kids to handle financial matters. Experts agree the best place to learn about money is in the home. After all you are your child's first teacher.

Believe it or not early childhood is the ideal time to begin instilling the value of a dollar, rudimentary financial principals as well as be permitted to practice skills. In many families money management is a touchy issue since many of us aren't confident about our financial aptitude.

Despite our reluctance we have a responsibility to prepare kids to be smart consumers and financially responsible. We play a key role in shaping our child's attitudes towards money through our own example daily, whether we are cognizant of it or not. Experts say many parents are lousy role models when it comes to setting an example of fiscal responsibility. They say fewer families are scrimping and even fewer still are saving today.

Environment is the chief influence on children including how they manage money. Take a few minutes to examine your attitudes and scrutinize your answers because your children will emulate you. Ask yourself how important is it to you to acquire things and status symbols. Are you guiding your child toward money values that reflect your family's heart? Do you whip out the credit card to buy things you can't afford? How will you teach your child to be financially responsible, steer clear of credit card debt and living from paycheck to paycheck?
    
Even if it seems your child doesn't have a thrifty bone in his body, it's worthwhile to nurture the smallest glimmer of financial savvy and begin teaching the basics of money management. And the sooner the better.  There are steps you can take to teach your child the basic concepts involved in saving, spending and the fiscal responsibility that comes with it. However, financial indoctrination should be based on the needs, interests and abilities of your child. A good rule is to start talking about money when your child begins to ask for things.

With today's media barrage of advertisements targeting children and their acquisitive tendencies it can be a challenge to "gimme proof" our children. Teaching media literacy skills is vital so kids can evaluate marketing that targets them. Teach children to distinguish between the things the media tell them they need and what they actually need. When your child declares that they simply "must have" a hot new item encourage them to save up for it.  And there is nothing wrong with letting your child know they can't have everything they desire. The key is to be consistent, resisting the powerful whining, "everyone has it" Or learning the principle of delayed gratification and making a wish list to save for a coveted item.  To support saving you could offer to match funds dollar for dollar. Keep in mind, if your child is old enough to verbalize I want this they are old enough to start grasping simple finances.
  
Even preschoolers, as young as 3, can learn how to sort coins, learn their value and begin to understand money gets converted to material things. Start out buy using a piggy bank to teach how to identify coins and count cash. As they learn to count introduce them to money by giving an allowance. Allowances are a good tool to help children to manage money. As your child grows the amount should increase. Make it clear why you are giving them the money and your expectations of how it is to be used. When giving an allowance give them money in denominations that encourage saving like 5 singles and have them set aside at least one dollar weekly.

Beginning the savings habit early is one of the keys to financial success. You might even take your child to a bank to open savings accounts to further instill healthy attitudes. But don't veto the decision to withdraw monies for something they want. Relinquish some control and let your child make deposits and withdrawals themselves. Let your child make mistakes and purchase items you don't feel are a good value for the money. Allow them to experience the consequences of poor decisions such as an inferior item. They will learn priceless lessons this way. Go ahead voice your opinion but it's their money and they need to learn through experience.

Discuss money issues with your child on a ongoing basis. Initiate open discussions about spending before it take place. Use regular shopping trip as opportunities to teach children the value of money. Planning purchases, attending sales and clipping coupons are good ways to introduce beginning concepts. Help them analyze their decision-making as they spend their money. This thoughtfulness will carry over as they mature.

These are just a few ways to help children become effective money managers and responsible buyers; you are bound to come up with your own based on your child's individual needs. Financial education is just one of the myriad of skills we need to introduce our children to help them develop the resources required to be successful adults.

Dawn Marie Barhyte is a freelance writer who has covered education, parenting, child development and health issues. She has been published in both regional and national publications throughout the country. She also writes children's stories, crafts and poetry. For over ten years she served the needs of young children and their families while teaching and co-directing child care centers. She now helps teens meet the challenges of work by serving as the junior volunteer coordinator of a community hospital. She continues to touch the lives of children through her writing. Her step-children, five grandchildren and nieces and nephews are a constant source of inspiration

Childhood Memories

  I once had a psych professor who asked the class to remember their earliest childhood memory. The professor then proceeded to go around the room allowing people to share. Everyone had a little occurrence. "I remember a piggyback ride from my Dad."

Or,  "I remember my pink blanky that I always had to have." Well, he finally got to me, and all eyes turned to find out what amusing story I could recall. "I can hardly remember what happened yesterday," I joked.

"How do you expect me to remember years ago?" The professor smiled and moved on. I thought and thought, but could not grasp any kind of memory. I had vague glimpses, more feeling than actually memory. My mind simply drew a blank.

Now I have kids of my own and it is amazing the memories you can conjure up to work for your benefit. For example, I told my oldest to go clean her room. She was only four so of course when I went to check on her she was not cleaning. I told her to get busy. To this she responded, "If I were a mommy I would always clean my kid's room so they didn't have to."

I looked at her amused by her logic and replied, "Well, when I was your age I kept my room so clean my mom never had to clean it or even ask me to pick up my toys." You see in my memory I could distinctly see
myself tidying my room without being told. I could see my room put together and much more organized than her room. After all I am such a stickler for a clean room now I must have been like that as a kid.

Of course when I told my mom this story she just laughed. It seems that I was just as bad, if not worse, than my own daughter. I have my doubts as to the validation of this story. Either my memory is wrong or my mother is mistaken, and just try to determine that if you can.

Wee Ones Magazine     March/April 2006

Did you know that in some places, crosswalks, with their black and white stripes, are called “zebra crossings?”

 Do you know what a zedonk is? If you guessed a cross between a zebra and donkey you would be right. A zedonk can also go by the name of zebrass, zebronkey or zenkey. In South Africa they are called zonkeys. They are more common there because zebras and donkeys live in close proximity. Still, they are rare and not usually found in the wild.

    The first reported zedonk to have been bred was in 1971 at the Colchester Zoo in Essex, England. Like the mule, a cross between a horse and donkey, zedonks are sterile and cannot have babies.

    Most zedonks have stripes only on their legs, with a few stripes around their faces and shoulders. A zedonk that has stripes all over its body is considered rare.

    Hammy and Ethel Boyd of Denton, Texas have three zedonks, two of them have full body stripes. Their father was a Grevy’s zebra, the largest member of the zebra family. The Boyd’s zedonks are between 14 and 15 hands tall. A hand is four inches. That makes them between four and half and five feet tall at the shoulder.

Zedonks are not known for their even temperament. They can be trained to be saddled and ridden or harnessed to pull wagons, but sometimes the wild nature of the zebra will come out of nowhere. They’re very unpredictable.

    “You never know what they’re going to do,” said Mr. Boyd. “We’ll be working them, and maybe one of them will have a fit, jump up in the air, kick or lie down and then go right on. I’ve noticed that if there’s a big tree out about a thousand feet from you, it’ll start blowing little light snorts and it’ll go either left or right of that tree. They don’t like to go to a tree if it’s out in the open.” Could this be because the zebra in them thinks a predator may be lurking behind it?

    Another thing that needs to be remembered is how to approach a zedonk. You can’t approach them from the side, like you can with a horse, mule or donkey. If you do they are likely to fight and kick. You have to approach a zedonk head on in a calm manner. But even then, you never can tell. One minute the zedonk might be just fine then, in the next, it might be throwing a fit.

    “They’re wild, but then they’re gentle,” said Mr. Boyd. “They’re curious to anything out there. But you’ve got to know something about them. A greenhorn couldn’t go out there and do it.”

    Did you know that in some places, crosswalks, with their black and white stripes, are called “zebra crossings?”
    They are definitely a curiosity. People come from all over to see the zedonks on the Boyd’s 100 acre ranch.

    Mrs. Boyd put it best. “They make good pasture ornaments.”     

A Zorse of Course

Any member of the equine family bred with a zebra can be called a zebroid, or zebra hybrid. When you cross a zebra and a horse you get a zorse, of course. Cross a zebra with a pony and you get a zony. There are also zebrets, zebrinnies and zetlands! Zorses are also known as zebra mules, golden zebras and African striped ponies. When the father is a horse and the mother a zebra, they are called hobras.

    The stripes on each zorse or zedonk is uniquely its own. Like a person’s finger print, no two patterns are exactly the same. As with all members of the equine family, zedonks and zorses are grazing animals. They eat grasses and hay. They can live as long as 30 years!